I think it's common knowledge that most trans-people have/will be the victims of abuse at some point in their life. The perpetual abuse and lack of empathy or often the motivation for many in the gender variant community to end their own lives in the quest for eternal peace.
For those who choose to stay and fight the world can be a very cruel place, one filled with ostracism, prejudice, homelessness, excommunication and unemployment.
In order to survive in an unforgiving world you need more than a thick skin, you need a suit or armor and arsenal of weaponry (figuratively speaking).
After being beaten up in school on a daily basis, misunderstood at home and feeling an extraterrestrial of sorts, at some point trans-people grow tired of being the one on the receiving end of ass-whoopin's and you learn to fight back (verbally and physically). But through it all...what transgender people really want is love. They desire love and companionship just as most humans desire.
Its the quest for love, combined with a history of violence that can create a dangerous cocktail for many emotionally maladjusted trans-people and their prospective lovers.
Imagined feeling unloved and unwanted for most of your life and then finally finding that special someone that makes you feel complete. Compound that with years of beatings, ridicule, abuse and psychological trauma. You are in for a serious roller coaster ride. Especially if the gender variant person chooses a person who is not comfortable in their own skin or a person who lacks fidelity and sensitivity required to nurture a relationship with a transgender person.
I believe this is why transgender women (especially those of color) often find themselves in relationships where domestic violence is the norm. When you've been abused it creates so many layers of insecurity and unworthiness. It will allow you to make the illogical sound sane for the purpose of maintaining an unhealthy relationship.
If you've been beat up, called "faggot" and "he-she" for the bulk of your life you've essentially been conditioned for an abusive relationship. Violence isn't out of the ordinary, its the standard.
Violence is not atypical in the romantic relationships of many trans-people neither is the escalation and frequency of the violence. The problem is when the trans-person comes out on the winning end of a life or death domestic violence altercation.
There are many transgender women who are now imprisoned or on trial for the death of their lovers. Lovers who were in many cases equally culpable. Yet its the transgender person who is in jail for simply employing one of the most primitive laws known to man: "Kill or be killed".
Don't get me wrong...I am in no way endorsing violence in any capacity. If you do the crime....you do the time. Trans-people have to follow the laws of our society just like anyone else.
It's my hope that trans-people will learn to identify what a healthy relationship looks like and what true love feel like. It is not a fist to the eye or a glass being hurled in your direction form the other side of the room. Love is internal. It lives inward and emanates outward.
Source: http://cerebraldiva.blogspot.com/2013/01/bullying-transgender-women-domestic.html
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